My Turn to Vent at the Line

I am going to get right to the point here. Not all darters are nice people or do the right thing. The sad thing is that sometimes it just is not fair but Hey! who said life was fair?

At what point is enough enough? And at what point do you move on to other teams with other players? Even though we make many friends playing darts the truth of the matter is not everyone we play with on our teams are exactly our friends. Sure, they are nice enough to play darts with once a week and to shoot the breeze but some of these folks are not exactly the people that I would call when I really needed a friend, or that I would even socialize outside of darts with. I call these dart acquaintances. There's a difference between dart acquaintances and dart friends...dart friends are those people whom you respect and value their opinion. You might talk to them regularly on the telephone but most importantly your real dart friends are those people that you tend to socialize with outside of darts (at non-darting events) - people whom you have more to talk about then merely darts. Don't get me wrong here, I am merely making the distinction between the two.

Usually I follow my gut feeling or as my girlfriend puts it "following the wu-wu", that feeling you know deep in your gut whether you want a more substantial relationship with someone or not. Once and again I am wrong - Being the trusting type and wanting to be liked I have fallen for those dart acquaintances that I really thought were my dart friends. It's a hard realization to come to, that you have made a mistake in your thinking and that you really don't (for whatever reason) want to spend that much time with this person or these people. So what do you do?

What is the graceful way to bow out of a team? What is the graceful way to let a dart acquaintance go? Do you say something to that person or does that just make it worse? Do you just let the relationship slide naturally on its own without acknowledging that something isn't right? And if you do that, are you missing out on an anything or specifically missing out on giving that person a second chance?

I do not know all the answers, I wish that I did because it would save me much heart-ache along the way. Who knows? I do think I am a little on the sensitive side but hey! When someone has wronged me without apologizing then I make no apology for being sensitive. There is right and wrong and they shouldn't be confused when dealing with dart acquaintances. Friends or dart acquaintances there are some basics when playing on a team that should be followed, at least in my opinion. Here they are:

• If you have made a commitment to play partners with someone in a tournament or event then don't cancel with the first darter simply to get a better partner or because it is in your own best selfish interest to partner up with someone else. Do the right thing.
• As a Team Captain - treat all the players on your team with respect, not just the best players. Now this is a tough one because there are so many variables involved but for equal players - play them equally. Do NOT play favorites. It just isn't right.
• As a Team Captain, if you do not believe that you will be playing ALL your players - tell them so they know what to expect. Do NOT leave them hanging there hoping with each match that you will call their names next to play. That is especially cruel when the darter(s) in question are the epitome of good sportsmanship, support the team and even chalk. Don't just leave them lying in the dust.
• Don't talk about your teammates behind their backs - that is so high school-ish. Get over it and move on to something else.
• Do NOT get your teammates involved in the drama of your sordid personal romantic life - we do NOT care.
• Show up when you say you are going to show up whether it is for league, practice, special play or any dart activity that you have committed to.
• Lastly, on a positive note, just play well with others. Period. It isn't that difficult.

The bottom line is that a darter should be a person of honor - the type of person that other darters would be proud to have as their dart friends not merely their acquaintances. That's it for now, hopefully the right darters (the one this column is aimed at) will get the drift.

It starts right here with me, and with you. Tell me now, what kind of darter do YOU want to be? And what kind of darter are YOU?