My First Ton-80, and Last

Anyone who has ever thrown a ton-eighty remembers the first one. It's like sex. You never forget your first time. Here's how it happened:

I was practicing at home in Big Lake, Alaska, with my 23 gram steel-tip no-bounce Hammerheads on the board in my small, poorly lit, soon to be remodeled kitchen. I didn't notice, but my twelve year old son Steven (and evidently his evil twin "Stefano") happened to be standing right behind me when my first dart landed in the triple twenty.

No biggy. I've shot triple twenties before.

Right then, Stefano emerged and kicked me in the butt! But I hardly noticed; I was into the rhythm!

Then the second dart landed in the triple twenty. The little imp kicked me again, only a bit harder! And without missing a beat, my third dart landed in the triple twenty, and of course Stefano kicked me in the butt once again!

I was hopping all over that little kitchen whooping and hollering, "YES! YES! YES!"

Steven/Stefano just grinned his mischievous grin and said, "Ah, Maw, you hit it!" At least I had a witness, right?

Since then I've thrown so many I've lost count, but the last one I hit was just a couple of weeks ago in a little bar called "Rascals" in Northwest Houston, Texas (where we now live). I'll never forget that ton-eighty.

(You have to understand, I'm called "Gwamma" now by Steven's son Little Joe and several other little people, so I'm old.)

I was playing soft-tips against a really good male player in a mini-tournament singles game for MONEY. Remember, customarily females throw first in the first game of a match. I lost the first fly-in fly-out 501 game, but I won the next cricket game, so that meant we had to play the third game. My opponent won the toss and opted to go first which meant I got to call the game. I picked 501. We high-fived, then I stepped up to the line and threw a ton-eighty - out of turn!

YIKES! Where's Stefano when I need him?

Actually, my opponent and I didn't even notice I had thrown out of turn for three rounds! But he noticed first and said, "Hey. Wait a minute here! You're kicking my butt, and why am I player number 2?"

Huh? We had a really good laugh, and then we started the game over. (Of course, out of fairness I put all the quarters in the machine.) He went on to win the money, but I won something, too - a free drink.