More Random Thoughts

At what point is enough ENOUGH? And at what point do you move on to other teams with other players? Even though we make many friends playing darts the truth of the matter is not everyone we play with on our teams are exactly our friends. Sure, they are nice enough to play darts with once a week and to shoot the breeze but some of these folks are not exactly the people that I would call when I really needed a friend, or that I would even socialize outside of darts with. I call these dart acquaintances. There's a difference between dart acquaintances and dart friends...dart friends are those people whom you respect and value their opinion. You might talk to them regularly on the telephone but most importantly your real dart friends are those people that you tend to socialize with outside of darts (at non-darting events) - people whom you have more to talk about then merely darts. Don't get me wrong here, I am merely making the distinction between the two.

Usually I follow my gut feeling or as my girlfriend puts it "following the wu-wu", that feeling you know deep in your gut whether you want a more substantial relationship with someone or not. Once and again I am wrong - Being the trusting type and wanting to be liked I have fallen for those dart acquaintances that I really thought were my dart friends. It's a hard realization to come to, that you have made a mistake in your thinking and that you really don't (for whatever reason) want to spend that much time with this person or these people. So what do you do?

What is the graceful way to bow out of a team? What is the graceful way to let a dart acquaintance go? Do you say something to that person or does that just make it worse? Do you just let the relationship slide naturally on its own without acknowledging that something isn't right? And if you do that, are you missing out on an anything or specifically missing out on giving that person a second chance?

I do not know all the answers, I wish that I did because it would save me much heart-ache along the way. Who knows? I do think I am a little on the sensitive side but hey! When someone has wronged me without apologizing then I make no apology for being sensitive. There is right and wrong and they shouldn't be confused when dealing with dart acquaintances. Friends or dart acquaintances there are some basics when playing on a team that should be followed, at least in my opinion. Here they are:

  • If you have made a commitment to play partners with someone in a tournament then don't cancel simply to get a better partner or because it is in your own best selfish interest to partner up with someone else.
  • As a Team Captain - treat all the players on your team with respect, not just the best players. Now this is a tough one because there are so many variables involved but for equal players - play them equally. Do NOT continually play others 3 times a week and others less. It just isn't right.
  • As a Team Captain, if you do not believe that you will be playing ALL your players - tell them so they know what to expect. Please don't leave them hanging there hoping with each match that you will call their names next. That is especially cruel when the darter(s) in question are the epitome of good sportsmanship, support the team and even chalk. Don't just leave them lying in the dust.
  • Better yet, before the season starts, as Team Captain, talk to your team. You need to decide whether you are there for fun and a night out and everyone will play no matter what their ability is, or whether you're goal is the city championship. When shooting competitively with the win first and foremost in your mind, it is understood that the best shooter is going to shoot - whomever that is and how ever many times they need to step up to the line in a night. Make sure everyone understands the focus of the team and everyone is on board. This will save much miscommunication in the long run.
  • Don't talk about your teammates behind their backs - that is so high school-ish. Get over it and move on to something else.
  • Do NOT get your teammates involved in the drama of your sordid personal life - we do NOT care.
  • Show up when you say you are going to show up whether it is for league, practice, special play or any dart activity that you have committed to. Be a person of honor - the type of person that others would be proud to have as their dart friends not merely their acquaintedness.
That's it for now - Hopefully there's enough information here that those of you reading this will get my drift. As passionate darters the buck starts here and we have to stick together and be the darters that others look up to. This means being a team player. The bottom line is communicate up front, be honest with yourself and others and finally, realize that there are often times when you've got to put the good of the team before your self.

As always, shoot well and I'll see you at the line.