At the end of January, 2008, fellow Chicago darter Jim Fleming died - he was 34 years young with a 5-year-old son. Fleming, or "Flem" as he was affectionately called by friends, won't be there for his son's first day of school, he won't be there to cheer his son on at his athletic games and won't be there when his son grows up to be a young man, marries or has children of his own. Fleming was young, passionate about his son, his life, friends and darts and died far too young.

Fleming's death has resonated deeply within the Chicago darting community. His untimely death might have been prevented, but a bad decision or two along the way sealed Fleming's fate. Most of us think that these things happen to other people, and not to you or me so this has been a loud and painful wake-up call to all of us. Fleming's death has made all of us stop and think that this could have been you or me, a family member, a friend, a teammate - or any one of us. Nothing is more important than someone's life and Fleming should never be forgotten.

I didn't know Fleming personally but I heard firsthand about his dart escapades every week from my husband. Fleming was a character and week-in and week-out I heard about Fleming's darts, his wins and losses and the great time he had playing darts on Saturday afternoon league. He was a decent darter, a team player and the epitome of a good sport. He kept the team going, win or lose with his gentle humor and was just a pleasure to have on the team. Yes indeed, Fleming shot on my husband's Saturday afternoon team and frequently they car pooled to darts together. My husband might have been with Fleming that Saturday afternoon - but, my husband wasn't in the car with Fleming on that fateful day. On that particular day, my husband missed darts because he was holding my hand at the hospital, as I had broken my hip and needed immediate surgery. That Saturday was the first time that my husband has EVER missed an entire afternoon or evening of scheduled darts. Would my husband have car pooled on that particular Saturday afternoon with Fleming? Maybe or maybe not, we shall never know. All I do know, is that my husband wasn't there on that Saturday afternoon to play darts OR to drive into the city with his teammates, therefore he wasn't any where near that fatal accident after Saturday league darts. Just thinking about that possibility makes the hairs on the back of my neck raise up as this is a wake-up call for me, my husband, all of Fleming's teammates and all darters in general. Period.

Fleming drove that day - he picked one of his teammates up and together they drove into the city for an afternoon of scheduled league darts. Afterwards, and not wanting the evening to end, they stopped at another dart pub and played in a blind draw long into the wee hours of the night. At that last bar Fleming was seen drinking coffee and cokes in an effort to stay alert and awake. But! And this is a huge BUT! Fleming had been up for some 30+ hours without sleep, working overtime with double and triple shifts to make money at his job. He was tired, beyond tired, and in hindsight, should probably not have been darting OR have been driving. The official report was Fleming was too tired to drive, and only moments after dropping his teammate off at home, Fleming fell asleep at the wheel. He drove off a ramp and into some concrete support beams where he died instantly. There were no other vehicles involved in the crash, there were no skid marks indicating the car had braked or slowed down. Fleming, alone in his vehicle, simply fell asleep at the wheel crashing his car, and died instantly.

As for the teammate that Fleming had just dropped off at home, only minutes before Fleming drove to his death, many report that he is taking this very hard. It's difficult to imagine what it feels like to wake up the morning after darts to answer the endlessly ringing telephone, only to learn that Fleming, i.e. the teammate who had just dropped you off the night before had died only moments later - after falling asleep at the wheel. Even if this teammate invited Fleming into his home to get some much-needed sleep, Fleming most likely would not have taken up his teammate's offer of a couch to sleep on. He probably would have thanked his teammate for the offer, but it's more likely than not that Fleming would have declined the offer and continued on his way. It is doubtful that Fleming himself had any idea that exactly how tired he actually was after being awake for some 30+ hours for work, and then hours more playing darts. If Fleming himself didn't realize just how tired he was, there's no way that anyone else would have realized that either, or done anything differently. Hopefully this teammate will realize this and somehow understand that he couldn't have changed the outcome of what happened that fateful evening. Rather than this teammate sequestering himself, turning away from friends, or even giving up darts, hopefully Fleming's teammate that night, and even all of those who knew Fleming as well as those who never knew Fleming but are reading this now, will learn to celebrate Fleming's life, and not necessarily ruminate on the sadness of Flemings's untimely death.

After Fleming's death, the sun still shone just as brightly and life for others went on. Those who knew Fleming wanted to scream "How can this be? Someone special just died! Shouldn't the world stop turning on its axis if only for a moment? Shouldn't the skies be overcast with menacing clouds and threatening lightning and thunder?" How can the sun rise and shine as if nothing has happened? Someone has died, life has stopped for this person, shouldn't the winds of the Earth reflect that with lightening strikes and stormy and unpredictable weather?

Recently I spoke with Fleming's sister Jenny, who of course, misses his brother dearly. Fleming affectionately called his sister "Stoop" and she called him "Jimmy." Now, nothing will ever be the same. In life, Fleming was a friend to all, a son with parents, a brother but most of all he was a proud father. According to Jenny, Fleming's son Danny was the love of his life, his treasured gift in life and his son came first before anything else. He delighted in spoiling his son Danny rotten! Besides being a father and family man, Fleming made everyone laugh and was known to help out anyone who needed it; his sister added that if a friend asked for help moving to China, Fleming would be the first person to volunteer to help! Fleming had more than a pleasant personality with lots of friends, and was a goofball! He saw the humor in everything, even in those wins AND losses. He was crazy, but in a good way! Fleming loved to bowl, golf, was a movie buff with favorites like Bat Man and Spider Man, and loved the White Sox! His sister, parents, family as well as Fleming's teammates and even other darters who didn't even know Fleming up close and personal, are struggling to deal with their grief and the finality of it all. The lives of those closest to Fleming will never be the same and truthfully, no parent should ever have to bury their child. My heart goes out to Fleming's family and they should know that their son was a fine person, a good hearted kind man with all the best intentions of the world, and through his teammates, friends and family members, Fleming will never be forgotten!

How does one come to grips death? Death is so final - and all of us thinks that this only happens to other people, not to us. And certainly not to people that we know. We all think we're going to be lucky enough to live a long life and die of old age while young at heart. And the luckiest of us all die peacefully in our sleep after striving to live a long and happy life. Unfortunately, Fleming died young after a life far to short. My goodness, Fleming as 34 years old - just a baby and so much more of life in front of him. Hopefully Fleming's son Danny will learn of the wonderful father who loved him more than life itself, and other darters will strongly get this message and think twice about driving when they are far too tired drive; and therefore change their behaviors so this does NOT happen to other darters.

Jim "Flem" Fleming and the Love of His Life, His Son Danny
While watching one of those weekly news program such as 20/20, there was an episode featuring a grief-stricken mother who lost her daughter in a car accident. The person who hit this young girl walked away unscathed, after telling many others throughout the evening that he was too tired be out and simply wanted to get home for some much needed sleep. Yes, in this true story the driver told many others throughout the evening that he had been working too many hours and was very tired. He was so tired he could barely keep his eyes open and only wanted to get home and get some sleep. Unfortunately, that didn't happen. In this case the driver got into a multi-car accident which claimed the life of a young girl. But that isn't the end of this story. This grief-stricken mother took the driver to court on manslaughter charges - felony criminal charges for falling asleep at the wheel, because he KNEW he was too tired to drive, and therefore was responsible for causing the death of a young, innocent girl - a beautiful 16 year old daughter and who seemed to have died so young and far before her time.

This grieving mother went on a crusade asserting that if someone knows they are too tired to drive and inadvertently kills another human being, then that driver is of criminal charges - manslaughter at the very least, homicide at the very most. Her reasoning was that if someone knows they are too tired to drive, and has told other witnesses that they are "Oh so tired", then they are smart enough not to drive. And if their driving kills someone because they have fallen asleep at the wheel, then by gosh, the local District Attorney should throw the book at them and charge them with manslaughter or homicide. This driver knew that he was too tired to drive, told witnesses throughout the evening that he was too tired to be out and about and driving to and fro, and even though that wasn't his plan, a momentary bad decision led to the death of a young girl. With this mother's tireless crusade, a state law was passed making it a "CRIMINALLY NEGLIGENT" charge the cause the death of another, in a car accident, because the driver has gotten behind the wheel of a car knowing he is too tired to drive.

Yes, you read that correctly. If you know you are too tired to drive and therefore hurt, maim, injure or God forbid, kill another human being because you fall asleep at the wheel, depending on the state that you live in, you may be criminally negligent in the death of another human being, and may be charged with homicide. This is a FELONY charge with the possibility of years and years behind jail bars. Is an evening of darts worth a felony charge? No, I don't thinks so. So, what do we all need to do with this regard?

The bottom line is that we are not invincible and we need to make smart decisions along the way. This includes not driving when you know you are too tired to drive. Period. It is time for all darters to stop and think before driving. This article and Fleming's death mean nothing if we don't change our behaviors. While working to pay the bills is admirable, keeping yourself awake for days at a time and then driving around town to meet your commitments is something to think twice about. Nothing, nothing, nothing, is more important than a person's life.

With the clarity of 20/20 hindsight, there are usually more than one cause of a fatal accident - many of which could have been prevented. Fleming was too tired to drive so he should not have been driving. Fleming also wasn't wearing his seat belt - could this have saved his life? Though reports illustrate that Fleming was last seen drinking cokes and coffee, was there alcohol in his system that impaired his judgement? What if he was wide awake and hadn't been up for 30+ hours straight working to pay his bills? Why didn't the airbags go off in his car upon impact? Were there even airbags in the car or was it an older model vehicle? Could any of these factors made a difference in Fleming's life and subsequent death? Again, rarely does an accident have only one cause - and this accident has all the signs that several factors were involved. And with 20/20 hindsight, this accident could have been prevented, which makes this story even all the more tragic. The moral of the story? Wear your seat belt and don't drive when you are too tired to drive. Forget your ego and forget feeling invincible. Fleming, himself, thought he was capable of driving home but he was wrong. So, do the smart thing and if you are too tired to drive then call a friend or call a cab. This action just might indeed save lives. Yes, Fleming's death was a tragedy that might have been prevented, so take care not to be the next tragic accident.

As for the dart award-walls at Fleming's home bar - the cozy little Sponge Reef - these walls are peppered with the numerous plagues and trophies with Fleming's name on them. This reminder serves to let others know that Fleming was a darter, just like you and me, who was vulnerable that night, who wrongfully and tragically thought he could drive himself home, to get some much needed sleep.

Sponge Reef in Schaumburg, Illinois is throwing a fund-raising outing on 08/24/2008, in honor of Fleming and his family. On 08/24/2008 a trip to a White Sox ball-game is scheduled, with a designated bus and bus driver. To participate in this fund-raising effort, please call Sponge Reef owners Rick and Sharon Ford at: 847-885-8858, 1230 Valley Lake Drive, Schaumburg, IL 60194. Not only is this outing to help memorialize Fleming by celebrating his life, and to raise money for his son, but also to raise awareness about the dangers of driving when one is too tired to drive.

Take care to know that this could happen to anyone. This means you, me, other darters and anyone who is too tired to drive. We all need to be aware of the consequences while driving when too tired to drive, and make other arrangements! Fleming's death was a tragic event that could have been prevented. It is up to the rest of us to change our behaviors and NOT drive while too tired. And if we don't change our behaviors then Flemings death will have been in vain and that would also be tragic. Think before you get behind the wheel of a car...and don't forget to attend the fund-raising outing sponsored by Sponge Reef to celebrate Fleming's life.

Fleming's sister Jenny graciously provided the pictures of her brother and his son for this article. These pictures make Fleming come alive and serve to remind us that Fleming was a real person, a joyful person, someone who was generous with his time and energies and would help anyone who needed help. He was a darter, a friend, a good-hearted person, a man who was strong and vulnerable at the same time and someone who just wanted to live his life and raise his son to the best of his ability. And Fleming is someone who should never ever be forgotten.

My sincerest and deepest heartwarming condolences to the families, God bless.